when i speak… everyone expects hate to come out;

bitterness.

blaming the present for my past mistakes.

frustration.

but WHY  should i fake a smile when theres nothing to smile about?

why should we pretend to be friends when the hate is mutual?

you fuck me over and act as if nothing is wrong,

but im the “angry” one when i speak on it?

….life is a joke sometimes.

friends are temporary.

 relationships dont last.

and blood is not thicker than water.

so what the fuck is the point?

-__-

empty bottles and cold floors……

wandering minds yield lonely souls.

speak your mind; 

but bleed lies through ice cold veins. 

as long as there’s a smile on your face.

everything will be …..fine.

so they say, 

but who exactly are “they”

(laugh out loud)

“they”…. are false statements.

with deliberate intent to deceive;

in other words they are a LIE.

chaos and disdain pollute our world order.

what will become of the unworthy?

the last second of the final hour will reveal ones unity. 

until then,

low lights and ashtrays……

……rise and conquer or do nothing at all.

You’re like a rash that just won’t go away.
Yea I’m comparing you to a fucking rash.
I keep covering your memories up with…”over the counters”
They seem to do the trick….
for a short amount of time I think I’ve gotten rid of you for good.
Yea right.
You slowly make your way back into my daily thought process.
A red…irritating…annoying… rash.
It frustrates me to have no control over this….

i just want to lay in my bed and stare at the wall…..

reflecting on life.

what could’ve been….what is….and what will be.

why we are here;

how we got here;

and where we go….

im not to big on religion; im content with questioning things.

why are we programed from birth to detach ourselves from our family as life goes on?

why are we fiends for love?…

why when somebody dumps you,  the first thing we try to do is fill that empty space, and most likely from someone you would never think twice about?

why does life come with an expiration date?

whats the point of working so hard if we’re all just going to die?

why do people respond so quickly and abruptly to negative energy as oppose to positive?

why are people so obsessed with the lives of celebrities?..especially ones with shitty music?

….why do celebs get paid so much?…

if they really wanted to find a cure for cancer or aids they should cut funding for “stupid shit”.

i wish there were answers….but do you necessarily want them?

open your eyes and recognize truth.

there’s no possible way i can fill this void;ive been trying to convince myself that whatever the hell ive been doing is working…

but its not dude.

*sigh*.

ok bye.

i come to you in my time of distress….

seeking understanding and comfort;

us apart yield doom and destruction…

but us together create blissful harmony.

every [body] yearns for your love, but nobody will ever understand [our] relationship…

 my mind is a breeding ground for organized chaos; 

[inhale]

my body is obsessively anxious;

[pause]

my soul….  discouraged. 

……[exhale]

my whole existence is questioned on a daily basis…

you help me grasp the idea of not knowing;

and accepting the inevitable.

[my being is now at peace]

i thank you for your consistency;…your loyalty.

one day we will part ways….that my love, we cant avoid.

until then..

dear mary,